Every time I stay home, I’d rather be out, but every time I go out, I’d rather be home.
I deal with the inevitable confusion ever so often. The older I get, the more I realize that home is where the heart is and outside the home cost to f*#ckin’ much!
Finding comfort in solitude while being outside AND craving social interaction within the confines of my home can be a serious contradiction that, I sometimes, get sick of my own damn self. The indecisiveness blows me! Especially as the warm weather approaches! What’s a girl to do?!
When I’m home, I can retreat into my own space, away from the external stimuli that often drain my energy. My home is my sanctuary and a place where I can recharge and find solace in solitude. But sometimes, that sanctuary turns into a place of restlessness. The absence of external stimulation can leave me craving the social interaction, excitement, and energy of the outside world. But when I go outside, there’s too many people out there, people-ling!…LOL. I should mention that your girl struggles with social anxiety, which she’s been trying to get rid of for years.
It’s my never-ending battle with Solitude VS Socialization, comfort VS adventure, and people-pleasing VS pleasing myself.
Maybe it’s the complexities of human nature.
