When it comes to attention seekers and egotists, they sometimes are both ends of the same coin. Although both are driven by a pursuit of recognition and admiration, a closer look reveals subtle nuances that separate these seemingly synonymous personas.
I had a recent situation that played out online and it made me further realize how folks go to great lengths to “prove a point” to counter another’s perspective, only to further prove the point they are countering.
Social media particularly reveals many who falls under that “both ends of the coin” energy. Attention seekers have a deep-seated need for connection and validation. Their behaviors, sometimes exaggerated, stem from a desire to be seen, heard, and valued by others. Whether through social media posts, videos, photos, or flamboyant/aggressive displays in real life, attention seekers seek affirmation in the form of likes, comments, and applause, public praise, acknowledgement, and accolades.
Then you have an egotist whose quest for validation takes on a more self-centered route. Rooted in an inflated sense of self-importance and superiority, egotists believe themselves to be superiorly special to others. Their behaviors reflect a narcissistic need to assert some level of popularity, dominance, or control, sometimes, at the expense of genuine connection or empathy from others.
My recent experience that inspired this think piece highlights the thin line between validation and vanity.
There was one who I considered somewhat of a friend, took to social media to express his “disproval” of me, instead of utilizing my inbox. To provide further context that relates to this think piece, he was in his feelings, because I shouted out my favorite podcast for giving me advice and I didn’t for him! Our conversation was PRIVATE! He gave me solid advice on a situation, and I told him I appreciated him for it. Note… that there were a few friends I asked for advice about the same situation. All of my advice was well-rounded and everyone pretty much all said the same thing, just in different ways. If I would have asked him while on HIS pod, I’d do the same thing with sharing!
Hell, I’ve shared his podcast a few times and I’m not in any of them!
It bothered him that much that he had to go live on fb and that’s what’s disappointing, because he could have come to me!
I’m not a therapist, or psychologist, so I don’t want to diagnose dude, but hey! If the Nike shoe fits!!!
The attention seeker and the egotist share a common thread, so much so that traits associated with both are guaranteed to show up in one person. That person seeks validation through social interactions and feedback from others, basks in the glow of their own perceived superiority, highlights flamboyant or aggressive displays that may mask deep-seated insecurities, and perhaps uses their grandiose demeanor as a defense mechanism against the fear of vulnerability or failure.
Listen…we all have our fair share of insecurities. I know I have some! But I choose accountability and work through them to the best of my ability without throwing folks in a crossfire of strays in a form of a social media video.
I’m also one who likes to communicate, rather than using social media as a tool to express an issue and work through things.
I get that everybody reacts and responds differently to certain things. In the end, it’s up to us to recognize the deeper-rooted issues we internalize, because trust and believe, even though things are said and done to us, it’s never personal and really has nothing to do with US. Perhaps, in embracing our own vulnerabilities and insecurities, we can open ourselves up to more opportunities and accolades that feeds us, mind and spirit and helps us become acknowledged in our soul-purpose, as opposed to looking for praise we have yet to receive.
