Now, I’m not advocating for a devoid of forgiveness. Forgiveness has its time and place, especially when it comes to our own peace of mind. But let’s reserve it for those who genuinely deserve it. Those who have acknowledged the wrongdoing and is willing to make it right, instead of those who blatantly continue to piss on our leg and tell us it’s rain.
It’s all about setting boundaries, demanding respect, and letting folks know you’re not to be phucked with!
When someone does you wrong and you easily forgive them, you set yourself up to allow them to do what they feel they can do without any consequences. It’s like…what incentive do they have to change their behavior? They’ll do it again because, well, they can. It’s like giving a kid a cookie after they’ve thrown a tantrum. You’re rewarding bad behavior, point, blink, periodt!
So, yes! Let’s hold back on forgiveness, at least too soon. They need to deal with the consequences of their actions. By being less forgiving, you’re not only setting boundaries but also showing others that your kindness isn’t a free pass to walk all over you.
See, I had to learn this very valuable lesson the hard way. One of my most recent experiences forced me to test my gangsta, and you know what, I’m doing okay. I realized had things continued with this person, I would have suffered a lot more with the mistreatment I’ve endured. I’ve had to utter the words “it’s okay” a few times about things I wasn’t really okay with. There were plenty of times, I’ve brushed off hurtful or disappointing actions or words, slap on a smile, and carry on as if nothing bothered me. I was sending the message that it was okay for me to be treated the way I was being treated.
Please understand that I’m not about advocating for holding grudges or harboring resentment. It’s about the underrated art of not being so quick to forgive, because, let’s face it, sometimes they know exactly what the phuck they did!
Let’s be a little less forgiving and a little more discerning with our grace.
